I'll Never Be You
by ninjafox369
Summary: Canada has a little song for America...Rated M for Matthew's mouth. Based off a song from Dane Cook...don't hate me!


Yes, I admit it! I'm going through a Dane Cook frenzy right now, but this song seemed to fit Canada...if someone makes a video with Canada to this song I'll love you forever!

**Importante!**: Make sure you listen to Dane Cook's 'I'll never be you' while reading this...also be sure it's the Vicious Circle one(some of the words will be different)! It will make this seem ten times better...although zero times ten is still zero...U-_-

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or Dane Cook's 'I'll never be you'!**

* * *

Matthew cleared his throat as he tuned his guitar in his bedroom. Alfred had once again taken the spotlight during the world meeting when it was supposed to be his turn that day. The Canadian decided to sing a song that had popped up in his mind.

"This is dedicated to you, Al" whispered Canada. His face darkened as he started to play the guitar. He looked toward America's picture on his bedside table and frowned.

_"You are the one everyone wants to be  
I am the one they say, 'I'm glad that's not me.'  
When I go to sleep, I dream about you  
When you go to sleep, I bet you dream about you, too_

_"Your life is filled with good times and cool clothes  
My life stands still, just watching where your life goes  
God please, let me live in your world for one week  
This life all yours, and it's a tease for those like me...  
_

_"And it's a tease for those like me... "_

Canada smirked evilly as his playing became more aggressive.

_"Sometimes I picture myself beating you up  
I see myself slamming your head off the ground  
And you beg and you plead and you cry constantly  
I'll make you say that I'm the best and make you say you wish you were me,_

_"And then, in my mind, I see me fucking your girl,_

_"Your cool car is now mine and so is your popular world  
All your friends, they love me, and love that I HATE YOU  
I'm like superhero, God badass motherfucker red, white and blue!"_

Matthew stopped for a moment to play the interlude. His fingers moved quick as he poured his anger and frustration into his playing.

_"You don't know me, but I know you  
It's a real love hate thing; I love to hate you, yes-I-do!"  
I get so frustrated..."_

Matthew slowed down a bit and lowered his voice.

_"...but tell me, just what can I do?"  
_

_"I'll never be you, so sad and true,  
I'll never be you, so sad and true,_

_"I'll never be you, so sad and true,  
I'll never be you, so sad and true,"_

At this point Canada's singing became louder again.

_"I'll never be you , I'll never never,  
I'll never be you, I'll never never,  
No, I'll never be you  
I'll never be you, I'll never never,  
I'll never be you, I'll never never.  
No, I'll never be you.  
I'll never be,  
Never be Y-O-U!_

_"I WILL NEVER BE YOU, YE~AH!"_

He paused, then Canada's face twisted into an insane grin as he continued to sing.

_"But alas, this song past, my daydream fades to black  
Boring me, hopelessly, wishing that you'd be attacked  
And raped by demented monkeys with huge cocks  
And painted green like a jellybean  
Made a trampoline and a toxic swamp  
You're so smug, and so fake with your laugh and your clique  
I want to be you so bad it makes me so fucking sick"_

Matthew's playing became even more aggressive than before.

_"But you suck, and you stink, and you're soulless and mean  
I wanna be in your fake, smug world  
We can hang out down at the Coffee Bean_

_"We can hang out down at the Coffee Bean , you know  
You and me hanging down at the Coffee Bean_

_"Down at the Coffee Be~an! Yeah..."_

Matthew sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he placed the guitar against the wall. He got up and left the room to drink some of the maple-flavored vodka Russia gave him.

Meanwhile, America's eye twitched violently. He was hiding in Matthew's closet, hoping to scare the crap out of his younger twin brother, when he heard the blonde's song about him.

"How the fuck am I gonna get out of here?" Alfred asked himself. If Matt found him after singing that song, well, let's say their would be one less nation in the world...

* * *

Wouldn't it be awesome if Canada really sang this song? XD Anyways, sorry I suck at this!


End file.
